


Red Velvet

by UnshoddenShipper



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Birthday Fluff, Families of Choice, Gen, Kidfic, M/M, Post-War, Unconventional Families
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 08:39:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4428758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnshoddenShipper/pseuds/UnshoddenShipper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“For, like, the hundredth time,” he picked her up, grinning. “When the Blues show up, your party can start.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red Velvet

**Author's Note:**

> Written for dwmaweapongirl16's prompt, "birthday celebration", on tumblr. :D

After taking care to wipe bare feet on the mat outside, a little brown-skinned girl reached up and let herself into her house, the screen door clattering shut behind her.

“Oh heeeey, Kalea!” Her uncle Donut sang in his lightish-red apron, pulling open the oven door. “Your cake is coming out of the oven right this minute!”

With practiced skill he withdrew two round pans, setting them on a wire rack as she approached. “These are super hot,” he cautioned. “Be careful.”

She took a deep breath and hummed. “It smells really good!”

“Why thank you! You know, if it were me I’d have picked funfetti,” He smiled, pulling off his oven mitts, “But, hey,” He tossed them on the counter, raising his hands in surrender. “If you happen to like a lazy man’s chocolate, that’s you.”

“It’s not chocolate!” She put her hands on her hips indignantly. “It’s red velvet. We’ve talked about this.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, sweet pea,” he mirrored her, settling hands on his own hips.

"Have you seen my dads?”

“Last I saw them, they were wrapping your gifts,” Uncle D jerked his chin towards the stairs, hair bouncing with it.

Mindful not to wake Grandpa in his rocking chair, she crossed the chaotic living room stuffed with more furniture and crayons than it was supposed to be and scampered up the steps. From under her dads’ dark green door she could hear chatter, about how they _should have been done with this a week ago_ (Daddy) and _ah, whatever it’s fine_ (Makuakāne).

“Hello?” She considerately pressed her little face to the long line of its jamb, so they could hear her better.

The door opened and Makuakāne stood there; one hand on the knob, the other on his hip and both eyebrows raised in amusement. “You just can’t wait, huh?”

“Can my party start now?”

“All done here, Grif,” Daddy said from behind the door, and his husband opened it wider to let the redhead pass by; boxes in his arms all topped with colorful bows.

“For, like, the hundredth time,” Makuakāne picked her up, grinning. “When the Blues show up, your party can start.”

“And I can play with Junior and Caboose!”

“And you can play with Junior and Caboose,” he nodded.

“It’s not like you saw them yesterday,” Daddy muttered as they made their way downstairs.

Spying Grandpa napping in his chair, her dads shot each other a look over her head and Makuakāne set her down. “You should go bug Grandpa Sarge,” he stage-whispered to her.

“But he’s sleeping!” Kalea hissed back.

“Who’s sleeping?” The greyed man huffed suddenly, rubbing his face, and she ran to climb on his lap.

“You were, Grandpa.”

“Nonsense! I keep vigil at all times. Never know when those dirty Blues are gonna show up.”

“Should be in like, fifteen minutes,” Daddy informed him as he set her gifts on the table.

“Diabolical.”

“What does that mean?” the little girl asked.

“It means they’re blue devils!” Grandpa began to rock them back and forth in the chair, and Kalea leaned against his big, broad chest.

“Actually, it means something is so evil as to _recall_ the devil,” Daddy supplied, as behind him Uncle Donut clutched the frosting bowl to his chest, shaking his head at Makuakāne.

“As I said,” the eldest Red nodded sagely.

Glancing at the kitchen first, to make sure this was private, Kalea leaned in close and whispered: “You don’t really think the Blues are evil, huh Grandpa?”

“Why- why a course I do!” he replied loudly, following her example, and eying as the men in the kitchen turned their attention to ordering pizza. Turning back to her he shook his head almost indiscernibly, mouthing ‘no’. Through the screen door she heard people approaching, and turned just in time to see Uncle Tucker push the door open with his hip.

" _Honk honk!_ "

"What’s up, bitches?” In his arms was a truly massive box all wrapped up in blue. Behind him Uncle Wash held Junior’s hand, despite the alien being as tall as he was, and Caboose carried a rock.

“What pizzas do you guys want?” Donut called from the kitchen.

“You know me, man,” Tucker put the box down gently. “Canadian bacon and pineapple, all the way.”

The youngest Red hopped from Grandpa’s lap and ran over, giving them each a hug, starting with Uncle Wash and ending with Caboose.

“Kalea,” Caboose said seriously. “Kalea Violet. I made you this rock for your birthday,” He handed it to her, and she saw it had been painted many lovely colors, with stars and hearts.

She craned her neck up to look at him. “It’s really pretty!”

“What do you say?” Makuakāne prompted.

Ms. Simmons-Grif turned to see him over her shoulder. “Thank you!”

“Don’t tell me, tell Caboose.”

“Oh, yeah.” She turned around again. “Thank you!”

“You are very welcome!” He smiled, and it made his eyes wrinkle and showed off his teeth.

“Is Kai coming?” Wash asked, settling his elbows on the counter as she ran upstairs to her room- real quick- to put her new rock on her shelf. Junior followed her up, making conversational noises she listened to attentively.

At the top of the steps she nearly ran into Lopez, who sidestepped to avoid collision.

“Sorry!”

_“Está bien.”_ [It's okay.] 

“Are you gonna have cake and pizza with us?”

_“No puedo comer.”_ [I cannot eat.] 

She furrowed her brow. “Pero to… todavía se puede hablar con nosotros.” [But you can still talk to us.]

_“Te he enseñado bien. Pero todo el mundo es una mierda en español. Especialmente a sus padres. …Además Kai es irritante.”_ [I have taught you well. But everyone sucks at Spanish. Especially your fathers. …And Kai is irritating.] 

“Por favor?” [Please?] Kalea asked, clasping her hands. Behind her, Junior did the same with all four.

Lopez was silent.

“Por favoooooooor?”

_“Estoy muy ocupado.”_ [I am very busy.] 

She let her hands go. “Eso está bien. Come on, Junior.” The pair continued down the hall to her room, where she placed her new rock just so on her windowsill.

\- - - - -

“Hey baby!!” Aunt Kai hollered, extending her arms for Kalea to run to. Lifting her up she blew a raspberry into her neck, making her niece squeal.

“How’s the birthday girl, huh?” She asked, moving the zebra stripe sunglasses off her nose to atop her head.

“Good!”

“That’s what I like to hear. Hey Dex!”

_“Dios mío, ella ha llegado.”_ [Oh my god, she’s here.] 

“Hey, Kai,” her brother intoned as she carried Kalea over, giving him a one-armed hug and a big smooch on the cheek. She rounded on Daddy next, who leaned down obediently to accept his hug and kiss.

“Place looks great, Simmons.”

_“Simmons no es el único que trabaja por aquí.”_ [Simmons isn’t the only one who does work around here.] 

“I try. There’s pizza in the kitchen,” the gangly man put his hands in his pockets.

“Awesooooome! Have you had any yet, kiddo?”

“No,” she said simply.

“What?? Well, you gotta have _pizza_ ,” Kai carried her to the kitchen. “What kind is your favorite?”

“Just cheese.”

“’Just cheese’?” Aunt Kai parroted, grabbing them two plates with her free hand. “Laaame.” But she was smiling so Kalea knew she was just kidding.

“I like cheese,” Wash supplied. Standing on the table, her tiny holographic Uncle Church sighed.

“Kalea, don’t listen to these losers,” Church addressed her as she was deposited in the chair before him. “Just skip the pizza and go straight for cake. That’s where the good stuff is. Just eat like, the whole thing.”

“No,” both her dads said at the same time.

“Don’t corrupt my child,” Daddy said, cutting her pizza into little squares.

“Yeah. Jesus, Church, why don’t you just give her a bundle of fireworks and some matches.” Makuakāne turned to her. “Real food, then sweets.”

”Okay,” she grabbed her fork. Above her, Daddy gave his husband a warm look.

\- - - - -

They sat around the living room and she was on her knees before the coffee table. Uncle Donut set a beautiful, blue cake before her while Daddy used his camcorder. The candles were little sparklers. The little girl bounced up and down, looking at all the people surrounding her- all her uncles, her aunts, Junior, her dads. The singing wasn’t in tune or in time, or in the same language, and it was accompanied by Junior’s blarging and Sarge’s warbles and Church wasn’t changing his tone of voice at all.

_“Happy- to you- birthday to you-”_

_“Feliz cumpleaños…”_

_“Happy- day- birthday to you- you-”_

_“Feliz cumpleaños…”_

_“Happy- Kaleaaaa- birthday dear Kaleaaaaa-”_

She took the deepest breath should could muster, and blew the sparklers into smoke.

 _“Happy birthday to-_ eyyyy!” The room erupted into applause. Makuakāne looped an arm around her, pressing her to his soft chest, and kissed her head.

**Author's Note:**

> Makuakāne is Hawaiian for “dad”, and Kalea is a Hawaiian name meaning “filled with joy”/“brings joy”.
> 
> Also please excuse the google translate Spanish.


End file.
